Culture

New Year's Disputes: The Dark Side of Chinese Family Reunions

Over the New Year holiday, many Chinese families engage in arguments and disputes, which has become a common theme for many social media users on Weibo. The holiday, traditionally a time for family reunions and celebrations, is often marred by conflicts and disagreements.

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11 February 2024

In a recent tweet, popular Chinese comedian and entertainer Old Gege, whose real name is Li Jiaqi, addressed his fans, stating that he doesn't want to argue over the New Year and encouraged others to maintain peace and harmony during this festive period. Old Gege's account, which recently surpassed 50 million followers, was temporarily banned in December 2022. Upon its reinstatement, he chose to focus on positivity and wished for a peaceful holiday season, urging his fans to resolve any differences they may have after the New Year.

However, disputes often arise due to various reasons. A user under the handle '橘子秋语' shared that they found New Year's Day to be the most harmonious and joyful when they spent it with friends, enjoying a hot pot meal. This contrasts with her past experiences of spending the holiday with family, where they would frequently argue. Another user, going by the name '我还记得', recounted their memories of overly dramatic and contentious New Year's celebrations with their family, resulting in an unpleasant atmosphere. Despite these tensions, the user noted that they could not help but return to their hometown for the festivities, as it was an unspoken obligation and a way for them to reconnect with their roots.

According to clinical psychologist Cai Jinghua, one major cause of these disputes is the stress brought about by family reunions. Cai mentioned that returning to one's hometown and reuniting with family members after a year of separation can lead to heightened emotions and sensitivity. This, coupled with a sense of obligation to maintain a harmonious atmosphere, can create an environment ripe for conflicts.

Another significant factor behind these disputes is financial stress, as many families struggle to meet their basic needs. This can create tension and frustration, often leading to arguments and disagreements. A user revealed their experience of growing up in a poor family, where financial constraints and the pressure to maintain face often exacerbated conflicts within the household.

Moreover, the tension between in-laws and their children's spouses is also a common trigger for disputes. Many users discussed the pressure they felt to balance their time between their spouse's family and their own. For example, one user shared their experience of feeling isolated and lonely during the New Year celebrations when visiting their spouse's family, and how this tension led to arguments.

Despite the somber reality of these conflicts, there is a silver lining. A user by the name of '李四' shared that they felt a sense of nostalgia and appreciation for family traditions when they took part in the age-old New Year's rituals, such as making dumplings and lighting firecrackers, despite the arguments and disagreements. This indicates that while the New Year's holiday may not be free of conflicts, it continues to be an essential part of Chinese culture and a time for families to come together and strengthen their bonds.

In conclusion, while the New Year brings joy and a sense of togetherness for many Chinese families, it also serves as a reminder of the challenges and tensions that exist within these households. As Old Gege encouraged his fans, it is essential to remember that resolving conflicts and maintaining peace is a vital part of preserving family harmony, and it is crucial to approach these challenges with patience, understanding, and empathy. By doing so, families can continue to cherish and enjoy their time together during this festive period, making it a truly memorable and harmonious holiday season.

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